The Black Diamond

My bathtub looked like a coffin.

At least from this angle.

Black porcelain no different than the dirt I expected to be in,
no different than the hole I couldn't see through,
despite these reverberations everyone was talking about,

The steam in here was a mess,
a hot mess that looked no more glamorous than fog,

I will put my head under water to try this out,
but not to worry,
there will be no bloodlines,
no blood lines either,

I knew no one wanted anything to do with me,
especially because I was feeling sorry for myself,
and this water had an ominous impact on my synapses,
I was having symptoms of nostalgia and amnesia,
perhaps they were one in the same in this black hole of mine,

If you would,

if you could,

please shut the door behind you so I can be in here by myself,
with my diamonds,
and my thoughts of what I did and did not regret,

if you would be so kind,

to shut me in---

and shut me up