Numerology Pt. IV

I couldn't count.

And I knew you wanted me too,
I knew I was afraid of the same thing I was always afraid of,
that I wasn't that,
or her,
or them,
or it,

that I wasn't that smart,
but I was,
and deep down I knew I was smarter than you,
especially that way,
up here in the attic,
and on the mezzanine,
with the red carpets waving away,

I knew,
but I felt better about all of it,
when I kept it to myself---