I swam,
only when it was cold,
and I was certain the water would freeze above my head,
especially right when I jumped,
and that I would hold my breath the wrong way,
an end up holding it forever,
but I was certain about a lot of things that should’ve meant nothing,
but they did,
they took up residence in here,
and here,
and here,
and all over here,
and I loathed that about myself,
a little more each day—
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