There wasn't much reason for any of this,
getting excited and then deflated,
and then thrilled again,
only to be disappointed,
disillusioned,
disenchanted,
all of it,
only for that reason,
did all of it seem futile,
because it was,
is,
not because it seemed actually,
if I was going to get technical about it,
yes,
I think I would,
just to throw out the reasoning and bring in what was really going on here,
because it was all a fucking mess,
and one that never belonged to me
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