My necklace was nowhere to be found,
I draped it over the side of a chair because I thought you might notice me more,
without it,
or at least if I left it behind,
you might remember me,
or better yet,
miss me---
and I would let a lot of things happen over and over,
but keep opening fortune cookies,
other people's,
hoping for a different outcome,
and I hated eight balls,
and everything they left out,
everything they failed to blur into reality,
they left me with blue balls,
even though that wasn't physically possible,
I'm most sure you know what I mean,
the sight of uncertainty,
the belief that I could somehow negotiate the future,
all of it had been upon us for sometime,
but that fucking necklace,
it was going to keep me from myself,
help me get out of my own way,
if you will,
if I will---
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