The Directionist

I'm supposed to say something nice,
or keep it above water for these first few hours here,
or days and weeks if I'm good,
if I'm better than most,
but even that right there is not okay,
saying someone is better than another,
it wasn't the right angle,
not quite the good way in,
the honorable way anyway,

and we just had so much in front of us,
so much for me to look forward to,
so many reasons for me to believe that pessimism was lazy,

and I am in that odd place now,
where you can't color inside the lines,
but writing outside isn't really thinking outside the box,
like the Bermuda Triangle of banality,

but I'm supposed to keep the sides of my mouth up,
and above water,
up high,
on the high road,

with or without my compass---