Here

You put a gun to my head and I liked the metal,
the steel against my temple,
it felt like I was out of control,
like I had no say in which way this would go,

which I suppose I did not,
but I did have some sway over you,
and I took my fingers and intertwined them with yours,
and I told you to take the barrel and put it in my mouth,

you asked me why,
and I could not answer you,
mainly because you did exactly what I asked you to do,

and this was not enough to bring us closer together,
we needed to make things up,
it needed to be us against someone,
something else,

because if it wasn't,
we would turn on each other,

and I,
I was still unarmed