C.S. Lewis was right all along,
or at least his sentiment on the matter was right,
this was not remarkable,
finding out that grief feels so like fear,
because it does,
that is, in fact, exactly what it feels like,
grief is threaded with loneliness,
solitude,
isolation by choice,
solitary confinement in a room full of people,
when we are wandering around toward the kingdom of heaven,
asking you why my heart is broken,
why I have no strength to mend it,
heal my wounds,
like he said,
bind them up,
but only when I am good and ready,
only when I reach out my steadied hand,
in need of yours---
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