The Downside of a Diary

I wrote very slowly when I was happy,

very              slowly,
sometimes even with lethargy,

And when I was hurt, my wrist throbbed from writing so fast,

But it was the ebb and flow of it,
that was all anything ever is,
according to my mother,

I was happy

Iwassad--

Happy.

Sad

I think I was happy.

But it got so blurry again.

I was happy sad,
maybe that is such a thing,
happy sad,
the worst of both worlds,
maybe

or maybe, I was just mad