Reliably Haunted

When I got bored with myself, I started asking people to scare me,
kind of the way people ask you to cure them of their hiccups,
wanting to change for the better,
but ultimately relying on someone else to do the changing,

see what I mean,

But when it was dark in here,
I did,
I tapped them on the shoulders and I asked a favor of them,
to get me when I least suspected that,

and they told me that was no longer possible,
that I could not barter or purchase fear,
and when I disagreed with them,
they held strong,

see what I mean,

They told me the idea could not be mine,
the idea for repairing my prosaic nature needed to come from someone else,
the same way someone needed to scare you after you had forgotten you asked,
or somewhere in that realm,
some when in that realm,

see what I mean,

Fear kept me on my toes,
not sure why they would not give me that,
because on my toes I could be something more than this,

but I guess if you want something done,
you have to do it yourself---