The Bug (Un) Easy

I had an irking feeling in here,
in my churning stomach,
and when I breathed what was supposed to be a sigh of relief,
I could smell the imminent rain,
and I could hear the distant rumble of thunder


It was then that I felt like prey,
like the thunder could smell blood in the water
like it had been sniffing around the beads of sweat on the back of my neck

I was swimming in fear,
of what I could hear from the other side of this valley,
of what I could not hear,
and then my ears starting ringing until it was so loud-----

There was nothing,
not even the sound of these words,
but I could still feel the thunder,
and my nose was gushing blood,

These were the worse of times,
they were,

but that was an easy label,
with no frame of reference,
with no understanding of the problems with ubiquity

The rolling pin in the sky loomed,
and then stopped,
just at the ceiling above my head,
just long enough for me to learn to hate myself again,

This was all too familiar,
and then not old enough-----