
We were miserable, but happy,
but did that make us miserably happy?
I couldn't be certain,
of this or anything else derivative of you,
of this
If I was certain,
then you would find just
and you find cause,
to leave me
Our love was the old fashioned kind,
pedestrian in its appearance,
but captivating to us, the chosen pair
There were few things in the world as lovely as you,
and I was a well traveled being,
with my typewriter and my suppositions threading to and fro
It was during a baseball game that I heard a ringing in my ear,
and my hand went up, high in the air, like its sister, white with concession;
you ignored the inning for a reason unbeknownst to even you,
you hopped the fence and put your hands on my cheeks,
and you wiped the glitter from my eyelids,
and you told me, right then and there,
that perhaps you liked me with only this red t-shirt
and these aged, fitted jeans
and with my eyes fixed on deck
Lovely pacing. There is an up and down rhythm to this piece that is quite soothing, yet disturbing as well. Expectation seems to have got the best of this main character, but in what form her destiny has manifested itself is difficult to say. I was confused by the following line:
ReplyDeleteIt was during a baseball game that I heard a ringing in my ear,
and my hand went up, high in the air, like its sister, white with concession
What do you mean by "...my hand went up, high in the air, like its sister"? Are you implying that you are doing the wave here? If so, this is a very poetic way to describe this.
Lastly, I love the fleeting feeling I get while reading lines like, "you hopped the fence and put your hands on my cheeks, and you wiped the glitter from my eyelids...", but where is the character going? On the field? I am trying not to be so literal, so I suppose it's possible he just up and left altogether. Either way, very intriguing...
Congrats on 550.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on 550 I want to see the novel on deck!!
ReplyDeleteI hope that all your hits are home runs and you write like you play.
I hope that there is always glitter in your eyes and you are never conceding.