On Your Knees, Please

I will walk away from you because I know how, now.

I will not lose sleep over smiling while you can no longer do so, not now.

Not ever.

We held a funeral for what this was and when they were all doing the conga up to the long box, I realized we were exactly what we always were.

Short lived.

Then. And now.

I danced around all of this and I let you be the Mad Hatter while I sat here in this very little teacup and I drank my liquid courage.

Laughter was so much sweeter now.

And then I remembered the porcelain that was off limits when I was just a girl, and the chalet blue on that hideous carpet, and all the “if I die before I wakes.”

But somehow,

especially now,

I prayed the Lord your soul to take.