The Gaping Whole

Arnold Abrams was a cake poker---

in a lime tuxedo and a grin that reminded me of the Louisiana purchase

and with a gapped tooth reminder of his misfortunes

He was deceptive and destructive in the task at hand

and there was little that his taste buds didn't command

He was a hoarder of treats---

of whoopies, tarte tatins, the fat rascals, and buttercreams

the upside downs, the marbles, and the tompouce dreams

At the far end of a head table, he met his match

the red velveteen rabbit with the slap happy smirk and the mean-hearted laugh

both red in the face, and cool to the touch

Arnold threw up his hands to say, "Enough is enough"

With thoughts of Plumpy, the Molasses Monster, and Veruca Salt flooding his mind

he slipped out from the crowd with a skewer to find

with the stick in his hand and his eye on the prize

there were only one--no a few--things to surmise

Why and when he would make this decision---

How and where he would make the incision---

And just there, behind all their talk,

he started in with his ridiculous walk

"Walk softly and carry a big stick!" is all he could think---

while he took on tier three and pierced with a wink

There was a trail of crumbs resembling his blood

that led to the carpet and a sizable thud

And under the table, with a fork now in hand,

Arnold Abrams became one fortunate man