Out of Sight, Out of Your Mind

It dawned upon me today that there are some extremely outlandish ideas in this world--ideas, that while I'm sure at the time of conception seemed wonderfully inventive, are in fact completely ridiculous and counterproductive.

It's hard to imagine any logical reason why someone thought that introducing ANY of these ideas would be, in and of themselves, a good idea.

Without further ado, here is my list of the WORST ideas (that I can think of at this moment):

(1) Trying to out do a hurricane. Seven or eight years ago, researchers thought they could drop enough powder into a hurricane to drain it of its moisture, and therefore its strength. Even if the powder worked, innumerable planes would have to drop infinite amounts to keep up with it. If this all sounds stupid to you, that's because it is...stupid.

(2) Returning the wooly mammoth to the present day. If a blackberry exists on planet Earth, a wooly mammoth should not.

(3) Ice cream glove. Invented by Ali G. Enough said.

(4) KFC Famous Bowl. It's literally all the bad health decisions you could make in one plastic bowl. I'm fairly certain that you could use this to have a heart attack on cue.

(5) Shaquille O'Neal portraying a genie in Kazaam. Why?

(6) Four Loco. If you can't figure it out by the title, then you really shouldn't be trying it. The best description of this that I have heard is that with the first sip, you ignite a firestorm of all your worst qualities as a human being. The only way I can explain this further is that the last person I met to take a swig of this concoction jumped the wall of a cemetery and may or may not have broken a bone in his foot.

(7) Monopoly: Electronic Banking Edition. The whole point of the game is to be your own bank. The calculator ruins it.

(8) Extended magazines. Seriously? As a civilian, I shouldn't even know that addendum to a weapon exists. But I do. And therein lies the problem.

(9) Lightning rods. What? Don't look for it. I'm just saying.

(10) The closing of the US Patent Office. This is still an unconfirmed legend, but the story goes that in 1889, the head of the US Patent Office turned in his letter of resignation, citing that "everything that could be invented has been invented." Eliminating the possibility of new ideas is far and away the most detrimental idea on this list. It's perhaps the most shortsighted statement I can think of. And that's a euphemism--because I think about hindsight a lot.