When I was older, I would lie in bed with the lights dimmed and he would pull up a chair and watch me fall asleep. We had agreed to this many years earlier, when I was younger and I had mentioned casually in conversation that I didn't want to die alone.
In the winter of my life, he continued to remember that conversation and he would tuck me in until our talks ended with me dozing off midway through the argument over the best scene in LA CONFIDENTIAL. He had said it was the Christmas Eve Massacre and I said we would agree to disagree because there were few scenes better than the prologue and the--
And then I fell asleep. I liked to think he watched over me and that perhaps he stayed sitting in that chair until he too dozed, and then fell up late evening, or mid morning, depending on who you are and how you feel about the passage of time.
On the nights when the fog hovered over the acres behind the house, I invited him in earlier. I felt we needed a united front against its ominous and ubiquitous nature. I was, of course, at that time, completely in denial--as most people are.
But for once, and with great shame, I turned my back toward him and looked out on the sky. It was octarine and I was certain that we had never quite met.
to "know" someone in the biblical sense is relevant to the final line. However, until the last two stanzas, this could have been as much about a mother and son as what it actually pertains to. Interesting.
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