On The Ball

I was getting bored with my tongue so I started looking around for things to do with it and taste with it and see with it but i couldn't see with it because tongues don't have eyes so I pulled my eyes out and gently laid them in my mouth on both sides of my gums just sitting there like two jawbreakers and they were making my cheeks look like peachy golfballs but that made no difference to me because I just wanted to keep myself from saying anything stupid or doing anything dumb because that's what they said I would do if I kept sticking my tongue in the wrong direction and then they threatened to cut it off which was when I pulled out my hair and put it on their doorstep and rang the doorbell while I ran away to the bushes and I used my lips to hold the eyes in position so that I was just in the right place to watch their expressions and so I could see if they knew the hair at the door was mine and when they seemed uncertain I took an eyeball from my mouth and threw it onto the porch

And it was then that I had lost sight of what was important which is what they always said I was destined to do because---