Talking Heads

Every once in awhile, and by every once in awhile, I mean fairly often--I use this site to voice an opinion about notions that I believe the world could do without. And today happens to be once in awhile.

Last night I got to thinking about something that really annoys me. This hypersensitive attention to a bothersome trait always seems to come when I've been intellectually stimulated and my mind starts going...and going...and going in the direction of all the things that hinder or impede that academic sense of imagination. So last night, when my mind was churning and stewing about this, I decided that what really gets under my skin is when someone plays devil's advocate just to play devil's advocate. When I say this, I mean that you are doing any or all of the following:

(1) Spouting off information that may or may not be true just so you can partake in the conversation.

(2) When spouting aforementioned information, the intonation in your voice is condescending--to say the least. And condescending is a euphemism for what it is--because in reality, I'd really like to call it something else. Something that involves expletives and me slapping you across the face. Because your arrogance is exactly that--a slap in the face. And why wouldn't I return the favor?

(3) While listening to the opposing viewpoint, you are tuning out because you are already planning--in detail--the next pompous comment you will retort with. The 'not listening' because what you have to offer up is clearly more insightful than your predecessor's comments...it's all very unattractive.

(4) You don't understand or refuse to understand the term 'agree to disagree.'

(5) You're under the false assumption that taking up this advocation makes you look smarter to those around you. You are not willing to give in to the thinking of the masses. You are unique. You're not.

(6) You think that being optimistic is outdated. Grow up. This isn't 2001. It's not a crime to like or agree with someone or something. And it doesn't make you less intelligent to smile or show those emotions. Perhaps it even makes you empathetic.

Some of you might defend being the devil's advocate by saying that said person does in fact have empathy, that in playing the advocate, they are in fact advocating for the other side. They are asking you to walk in someone else's shoes, asking you to consider for a moment what it might be like to have the other point of view. That's, for lack of a better term, complete bullshit and a very weak justification for someone acting like a complete jackass. Because guess what? If you were actually empathetic, sympathetic, considerate, compassionate, or if any and all of these flattering terms described you truthfully, then you wouldn't be a devil's advocate. You'd simply be an advocate!

Arguing for the sake of arguing doesn't make you right--and it certainly doesn't make you more interesting. It just makes you a supercilious pontificating moron that likes to hear themselves speak. For what it's worth, being this devilish is counter productive to most, if not all, conversations--and quite frankly, it's transparent.

While I realize this article may come off as a long-winded tirade directed at someone in particular, it's not. And NO, I'm not talking about you.

But then again, you would think that, wouldn't you?

What with being the skeptic and perennial dissenter and all.