In the Name of Meninas

The inability to smile was starting to get the better of me--

The best of me--

The less of me--

Whatever it was started moving through the floorboards

invading

infesting

gnawing away at my brain to prove itself a worthy opponent

Things were backward

like people who do the 'C' to the right in YMCA

wrong and self important

all at the same time

Only accepting of their point of view

no--

not accepting

only aware--

I was beginning to look forward to what was in the next room

and the hallway

and under the blankets

and the closet

and behind the green door

Because it all meant nothing

when you were nothing

but an apparition