On Second Thought

Somewhere along the line, I had gotten sick to my stomach--

from the memory of it

the attempt to return to it all

--and for what?

Turning hollow was a slow and dissipating affair

over scores

I was uncertain of why it hurt so bad

why it was a regurgitation of something that meant so much less to him

And I always thought--

if I had known of January 17th back in August

way back

on the night with the fog hovering over the pier

the night that I was happy--

I would've treaded differently

with reservation and an unparalleled vacancy

--and I would've been worse for the wear