Sixty So

Perhaps this was all less interesting and important than we had wished for,

perhaps,

perhaps it was,

but we kept moving like a locomotive,

moving indeed —

Silhouettes and Consciousness

Better things were done in the dark,

when no one could think about credit,

or voyeurism,

or looking the other way,

but looking inward,

better things were always done that way,

and that way again,

and maybe we would never know they were done,

but we would be breathing because it had been so,

because they had been so,

because they had thought,

this is so, so much bigger than me

Until Now

Sometimes the sadness was debilitating,

and I looked for small,

tiny laughter,

tiny good,

to distract me,

sometimes the feelings were too much,

too severe,

unkind even —

and I resented that,

I resented me,

I think,

I just hadn’t said it aloud.

3664

I was always wishing for skies to look the way they did then,

before the cold,

eleven years before the turn of the century,

and the desk,

I wanted it back —

but I wasn’t sure it would remember me,

or welcome me home —

Drops and Buckets

I wish I’d been better,

good enough to be taken,

or invited elsewhere,

or stolen away for moments,

or any of that —

But I wasn’t,

I just wasn’t.

Sticks in the Distance

There were flares from the flashlight,

people wanting to die,

saying it out loud even —

and we kept waxing on about the twenty first century,

we kept waxing on about the future,

it was all nonsense without a horizon line —

Dollops

Sometimes I couldn’t drag myself to bed,

and it wasn’t for lack of trying,

and then I couldn’t pull myself up,

and that wasn’t for lack of trying either —

things were just different,

quiet even,

in a frightening sort of way,

which was when I would look for the lightning,

and the trees —

and the trees

Scores, V. I

We tried too hard,

the way we should have years ago,

or last week even,

we just needed fire,

the new kind,

the kind that didn’t require thinking,

or thought, 

or points —

Progressland

I hadn’t done enough to deserve that kind of love —

whatever that meant,

I just wanted to stay awake long enough to feel more and less at the same time,

and too many days,

that task seemed blue and out of reach,

but there would always be tomorrow,

and another horizon —

Shaw, Awn

Sometimes I stay up thinking about how I wish we could be blue together —

and sunny,

and content,

that we could shape shift,

that we could go with each other’s current,

that we could bleed that way,

because things would be better,

much better then

Wands

We could,

we could sleep in and be dreamers,

and synchronized swimmers,

and people who wear diamonds when they feel like it,

we could,

we could —

Western Shows

Please leave me be,

over there,

further yonder,

drop the dirt on my head and watch it move down my face and neck 

and again I could have learned my lesson with the before times,

but I didnt(

none of us did —

sigh —