Second chances were not the charming endeavors everyone made them out to be. Sometimes, most times in fact, they were just prologues to even more magnificent failure. And when I would say these unenthusiastic notions loud enough for others to have to ponder, they would call me pessimistic. I found that to be unoriginal--true--but unoriginal nonetheless.
"Do you believe in redemption?" I would ask.
"What is redemption?" they'd answer.
"You don't know what redemption is?"
"I think it's forgiveness," they would say.
"And do you believe in forgiveness?" I'd ask.
"I know I don't believe in patronization," they would say. This always shocked me. It wasn't the same answer every time, but it was something along those lines.
"You don't believe in forgiveness. No one believes in it. They only do it when they are being forced to move on from pain," I would say. "No one wants to forgive. They do it out of obligation."
"You never look at the glass half full," they would say.
"No, I do not," I would respond.
"Why? Why can't you just do that? Like everyone else?" they would inquire.
"Because that's an obligation," I'd say.
"So?"
"So, I don't feel obligated to anyone or anything," I would point out.
"You don't?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because that way, I don't have to ever ask or give forgiveness."
And that was that. Was that.
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